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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368831">Raphie Loves Donnie</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plastron/pseuds/Plastron'>Plastron</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Raph/Don Song Drabbles [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TMNT (2007), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Animal Instincts, BDSM, Chubby Don, Different times in each song drabble, Dominance, Dubious Consent, Established Relationship, Face-Sitting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Injury (minor), Intersex Don (some chapters), M/M, Medical Kink, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Raph is a Horndog, Rimming, Roleplay, Sexist Language, Song Lyrics, Submission, Timelines, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:22:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plastron/pseuds/Plastron</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(Title references "Joanie Loves Chachi" lol)</p><p>  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWLHpx10OgMwGn0fWI9teWJSacA3kIyAB">RAPHIE LOVES DONNIE PLAYLIST HERE</a></p><p>Songs that express Raph's feelings towards Don during various points (and versions, even) of their relationship. Each drabble should be taken as a brief standalone snippet. Basically, imagine Raph is "singing" these songs to or about Don in his mind. XD</p><p>I think this particular award/nomination took me completely by surprise! Thank you!<br/><b>Winner in the TMNT Adult Fanfiction Awards 2020:<br/>(Chapter 2: "True Love") Most Stunning One-Shot (2nd place)<br/></b><br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Donatello/Raphael (TMNT), Raphael/Donatello</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Raph/Don Song Drabbles [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680784</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. ...To be Loved (Papa Roach)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/xMRfvAvcBnA">...I Just Wanna Be Loved (Papa Roach)</a>
</p><p>(Takes place in 2007 TMNT movie)</p><p>
  <i>I want domination<br/>
I want your submission<br/>
I see your not resistin', to this temptation<br/>
I got one confession<br/>
I love deprivation<br/>
I got a jet black heart,<br/>
It's all fucked up, and it's fallin' apart</i>
</p><p>“Raph…where have you been? I-I’m supposed to…w-watch over the team…I-I’m the leader…” Don trailed off as his muscular, bulky brother walked him steadily against the wall in his work space alcove.</p><p>Raph ignored the fact that Donatello had seen his leather suit. He didn’t care if his cover was blown. He threw his helmet to the floor and unzipped the front of his riding jacket. </p><p>“Really? Hm. Yer the goddamned leader now, eh?”</p><p>He leaned over Donatello, whose gray-brown eyes darted around nervously in his shadow.</p><p>Donatello gulped and tried to stand his ground. He puffed his chest out as much as he could, painfully self-conscious of how puny he was compared to Raph’s bulging, vascular heft.</p><p>“…y’know, I’m supposed to be watching over the team, while Leo’s gone, and it’s pretty darn difficult with you running out at all hours of the—MGHH!”</p><p>Raph swallowed his mouth in his, nipping and biting at his tongue. </p><p>“I don’t give a fuck…” Raph rasped, breaking away for a moment to catch his breath. “I just wanna be loved.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. True Love (Pink)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/c6vsHF3E9NU">True Love (P!nk)</a>
</p><p> </p><p>(2k3 TMNT)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/c6vsHF3E9NU">True Love (P!nk)</a>
</p><p>
  <i>Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say<br/>
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face (whoa oh oh)<br/>
There's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down<br/>
I know life would suck without you (whoa oh oh)</i>
</p><p>Don was still talkin’. I hate that shit. I hate it when he rambles, like he thinks the more he talks to me, the more I’m gonna ignore the fact that he nearly got his stupid candy ass killed.</p><p>I shoved him down onto the tatami mat. I didn’t care when he started gasping, the wind knocked outta him. His flabby olive thighs spread wide. Every time I see his body, it makes me wanna break somethin’…makes me wanna grab onto him and never let go. </p><p>“You fuckin’ pussy. Shut the fuck up, ya goddamn moron.”</p><p>“R-Raph? Raphie?” </p><p>He’s stutterin’ now. He’s tryin’ so hard to pretend like my dick ain’t pushin’ against those fuckin’ soft legs of his. Those legs that ain’t nearly trained enough to keep up when the goin’ gets really dangerous out there. </p><p>
  <i>At the same time, I wanna hug you<br/>
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck<br/>
You're an asshole but I love you<br/>
And you make me so mad, I ask myself<br/>
Why I'm still here, or where could I go</i>
</p><p>“Just shut up.” </p><p>Don chokes, his brown eyes wellin’ up as he stares up at me.</p><p>I’m pressin’ my fingers against his throat. My chest is heavin’…I don’t know why those goddamn puppy eyes of his make me so fuckin’ mad. Maybe it’s because I don’t wanna think about how he looks just as scared with my hand around his neck as he did when one of those fuckin’ thugs almost stabbed him tonight.</p><p>Fuck…if I hadn’t been there…Donatello…Don…Donnie… my Donnie… he woulda been gone. And what the fuck would I’ve done then? He fuckin’ owes me some answers…!</p><p>Fuck. I meant to hit him. I meant to teach his pussy ass a lesson. But now I’m leanin’ over him, cryin’ like a baby…and his ass is so tight around my dick and I don’t know why I can’t just be honest with him.</p><p>
  <i>You're the only love I've ever known<br/>
But I hate you, I really hate you<br/>
So much I think it must be<br/>
True love, true love</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hungry Like The Wolf (Duran Duran)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hungry Like The Wolf (Duran Duran)<br/>(Also covered brilliantly by Reel Big Fish)</p><p>
  <i>In touch with the ground<br/>I'm on the hunt, I'm after you<br/>Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd<br/>And I'm hungry like the wolf</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Straddle the line in discord and rhyme<br/>I'm on the hunt, I'm after you<br/>Mouth is alive with juices like wine<br/>And I'm hungry like the wolf</i>
</p><p>The sound of clinking metal and the scent of Don’s arousal flooded Raph’s senses. He closed his eyes as he pushed those olive thighs wider, careful not to over-extend Don’s legs. His bound mate shivered and strained at the padded handcuffs, whimpering breathlessly as Raph growled and pressed his wide tongue against his taint. Raph licked a slow, hot stripe across Don’s clenching hole. Raph grinned when Don begged for more, squirming and rattling the chains on the handcuffs; He’d captured his prey at last.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. My Funny Valentine (Frank Sinatra)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My Funny Valentine (Frank Sinatra)</p><p>
  <i>Is your figure less than Greek?<br/>
Is your mouth a little weak?<br/>
When you open it to speak,<br/>
Are you smart?<br/>
But don't change a hair for me<br/>
Not if you care for me<br/>
Stay little valentine, Stay</i>
</p><p>Sometimes Raph enjoyed getting a rise out of Donatello, for several reasons he never articulated but kept close to his shell… </p><p>One: Donatello had a surprisingly explosive temper when pushed.<br/>
Two: The olive turtle’s face flushed a lovely shade of scarlet and cherry when he was just embarrassed enough to get irritated (it was a sweet blush of dusty pink for shyness alone).<br/>
And Three: Donnie pouting was a precious, adorable secret which Raphael laid exclusive claim to witness. </p><p>But whether Raph had teased Don by nipping his lower lip as they kissed and then pulling back, or calling him "brainiac" at just the right time to embarrass him...or whether he pinched Don's plump little tail and grabbed a handful of his round ass just to watch Don yank his soldering goggles away from his face in irritation at being interrupted during a project... </p><p>All Raph really wanted was to confirm that his little Donnie-boy would always be there.</p><p>
  <i>Each Day is Valentines Day</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Classic (MKTO)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Don can't see what Raph sees.<br/><a href="https://youtu.be/zepb6-zcJVQ">"Classic" (MKTO)</a></p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><a href="https://youtu.be/zepb6-zcJVQ">"Classic" (MKTO)</a><br/>(Just before they begin a relationship)</p><p>
  <i>…And they don't make you like they used to<br/>You're never going out of style</i>
</p><p>Don didn’t think he was all that attractive; he couldn’t see what Raph could. He didn’t see anything special about his olive skin (Don would call it drab, Raph would call it smooth, golden, glowing). Don smiled sheepishly whenever he took his mask off around the others, shy about the undereye bags and the dark circles beneath his brown eyes… Raph loved to gently place his thumb on Don’s upper cheek, rubbing the puffy skin just beneath his lower eyelid to tease him about staying up all night again. Don would blush and look away, lowering his eyes…but Raph admired Don’s dedication to his work more than anything. It was evidence of Don’s…passion.</p><p>
  <i>Ooh pretty baby</i>
</p><p>
  <i>This world might have gone crazy<br/>The way you saved me,<br/>Who could blame me<br/>When I just wanna make you smile</i>
</p><p>Raph breathed hard, clutching his side. He was scraped up and badly bruised. No one could know; he’d gone out after a massive fight with Leo, blinded by rage. He took on the first gang he found, but in his fury he leapt before he looked. As the second wave of gang members sprung out and beat him from behind, hitting him with a chain, he realized his mistake too late. Raph managed to escape, but just barely. He took out several big guys, but not without multiple cuts to his arms, a stab wound (the guy narrowly missed getting the knife between his ribs- thankfully Raph was thrashing about wildly and hit the guy in the neck with his sai), and ugly bruises to his legs and face and arms from the chains. </p><p>He made his way into the med bay, and to his great relief and embarrassment, Don was awake, hunched over his desk as usual. </p><p>Don scolded him, but it felt rehearsed, like a necessary legal disclaimer. Nothing like the judgment, venom and disdain present in Leo’s voice… Raph stared at Don as the olive skinned turtle meticulously disinfected, stitched, bandaged, and wrapped his injuries. Raph always refused painkillers. Don gave him a wry smile, but Raph noticed the small tells… Don bit his lip a little too hard for it to be just another nervous habit of concentration as he stitched the cuts up. His eyes were just a little too shiny for it to be tears from eye-strain… the warm pink flush on Don’s beak told him that the sheen of wetness that gathered on Don’s brown eyes were from emotion. </p><p>“Donnie…ya saved me, yanno that? Ya...ya always do, even when I...don't deserve nothin'. T…Thanks.” Raph reached out hesitantly, gently, with the hand that had already been patched up, and wiped a tear from Don’s cheek, far too feather-light for it to be his usual teasing.</p><p>Don nearly lost his grip on the needle and thread. He looked at Raph as if he’d never seen him before. </p><p>His brown eyes crinkled warmly, and for the first time that night, he gave Raph the smile he’d been craving.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Kiss Me Deadly (Reel Big Fish version)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/Fn963btPTV0">Kiss Me Deadly (Reel Big Fish version)
</a>
</p><p> </p><p>Takes place during the 2007 TMNT movie.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/Fn963btPTV0">Kiss Me Deadly (Reel Big Fish version)</a>
</p><p>2007 TMNT-verse</p><p>
  <em>I went to a party last Saturday night,<br/>
I didn't get laid I got in a fight<br/>
Uh huh, it ain't no big thing (really?)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Out with Casey, again… <em>really</em>, Raph?”</p><p>“Hey, it ain’t like I’m doin’ nothing all night, I’m—“ Raph threw his arms up. He knew he couldn’t tell Don about his Nightwatcher stint. He may as well just take it.</p><p>“I’m trying to keep this household together, the least you could do is avoid getting into some kind of stupid drunken fight on weekends.”</p><p>Don threw Raph a frozen wet washcloth- all they had in the freezer was birthday cake, after all.</p><p>“Yer real cute when ya play the middle aged housewife role, yanno that?” Raph smirked.</p><p>Don rolled his eyes, and turned back to his IT support set up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Late for my job and the traffic was bad<br/>
Had to borrow ten bucks from tavis's dad<br/>
Uh huh, it ain't no big thing<br/>
<br/>
</em>
</p><p>“Hey, uh, Donnie…can I borrow 10 bucks?”</p><p>“For what?!” Don looked frazzled behind his large magnifying goggles. Raph tried not to laugh, but to be honest, it was pretty adorable.</p><p>“Ummm…Casey drove me somewhere last time, and uh, I gotta pay him back fer the gas.”</p><p>Don glared at him for a moment before unlocking the desk drawer and pulling out a $10 bill. He yanked it back before letting Raph close his large hand around it.</p><p>“This had better not be for beer, Raph. We’re on a tight budget as it is—“</p><p>“It’s not, I promise.”</p><p>Don sighed, and handed him the money.</p><p>“Thaaanks, honey.” Raph leaned in and kissed Don on the cheek. He laughed as he walked away, leaving Don completely frozen in his chair.</p><p>Raph was just joking. It was just a stupid joke.</p><p>Right?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I went to a party last Saturday night,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I told you that story and I'll be alright<br/>
Uh huh, it ain't no big thing<br/>
<br/>
</em>
</p><p>He’d kept his promise; the money wasn’t for beer. It was for gas, for his bike. But he’d had a hell of a night, and Casey sent him home with a six pack tied to the back of his bike.</p><p>Raph had spent some time trying to sleep, but he couldn’t; he was too keyed up from the crazy night. The adrenaline was still coursing through his veins. He cracked a few beers to relax…</p><p>And by 4 am, Raph was tipsy. He stumbled out into the den as quietly as a drunk, bulky turtle could… but he managed to knock over the box of cereal he intended to eat to sober up.</p><p>He was about to take some pizza from the open box next to Mikey on the couch, but the warm light spilling from Don’s “office” caught his eye.</p><p>“Hey…Hey, Donnie…” Raph slurred, sauntering in.</p><p>Don whirled around in his chair, throwing his headphones off.</p><p>“…are you…are you drunk?”</p><p>“Shhh, don’t bother me with questions right now.”</p><p>“Oh, no. I have plenty of questions. I gave you that money for gas, and you obviously spent it on alcohol-!”</p><p>“I didn’t, Donnie…got it as a gift…wish ya’d have a drink every now an’ then, might loosen up that tight ass a’ yers…”</p><p>“Mmm, I don’t think so. And I don’t want to hear you saying anything about MY ass being tight, you’re the one who—“</p><p>“I meant it literally, genius…”</p><p>“W-what?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But I know what I like<br/>
I know I like dancin' with you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I know what you like,<br/>
I know you like dancin' with me<br/>
<br/>
</em>
</p><p>“Whazzat yer listenin’ to?”</p><p>“Um…just work music, don’t-!”</p><p>Raph yanked the headphone cord out of the jack.</p><p>“What the hell is this?” Raph wrinkled his beak. The cheerful, upbeat dance music irked him, normally, but in his booze addled state, it was pretty funny.</p><p>“I-It’s…don’t make fun of me, alright, I like listening to disco every now and then.” Don blushed, trying to mute the sound.*</p><p>“Na, it’s alright…it’s dorky, but…it suits ya,”</p><p>“Thanks.” Don deadpanned.</p><p>Raph yanked him out of the chair, pulling him against his broad chest.</p><p>“R-Raph-!” Don protested.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s dance…”</p><p>Don couldn’t help but laugh as Raph did a very poor, very clunky imitation of what he supposed was meant to be a cha cha, and he found himself getting swept away in the movement against Raph’s body, anyway.</p><p>Raph kept his grip on his hand tight, and spun him, then yanked him back and dipped him over his muscular thigh.</p><p>Don stopped laughing, feeling his face warm.</p><p>Had Raph always had such golden red-brown eyes?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Kiss me once, kiss me twice<br/>
Come on pretty baby kiss me deadly</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“All work an’ no play makes Donnie a dull boy.” Raph whispered.</p><p>“I…I can have fun sometimes, too…” Don stammered.</p><p>“Oh, really? I’d like ta see that.”</p><p>Don pulled him down into a kiss, pushing his tongue aggressively against Raph’s.</p><p>“How’s that for fun?” Don asked, panting.</p><p>"...pretty good..." Raph answered, stunned. "How 'bout another?"</p><p> </p><p>*(Song within a song drabble? Yes. I imagined that he’s listening to “The Hustle” by Van McCoy—Seems like the sort of thing Don would put on his “Hustling to get Money While Leo’s Away” playlist, that sardonic nerd.)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Sexual Healing (Marvin Gaye)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Song: <a href="https://youtu.be/i8UASM9pg4w">Sexual Healing (Marvin Gaye)</a></p><p>Raph badgers Don for sex while Don is trying to concentrate on a welding project in the workshop... Unfortunately, it leads to an injured Raph and it's up to Don to give him the proper treatment. ;)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is probably the HORNIEST Song drabble yet- I meant to keep this brief, but nope, the scenario got away with me.</p><p>Based on the 2k3 show characterizations.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/i8UASM9pg4w">
    <strong>Sexual Healing (Marvin Gaye)</strong>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby, I'm hot just like an oven</em><br/>
<em>Ooh</em><br/>
<em>Baby now let's get down tonight</em>
</p><p>“Raph,” Don sighed.</p><p>“Yeah, Donnie-boy?” Raph growled playfully, arms encircling his mate from behind.</p><p>Don let out a frustrated noise. And not the sort Raph was hoping for. This was more of an…annoyed grunt. The purple-masked turtle turned (not easily) in his arms to face him. Don flipped the welding mask up, nearly smacking Raph’s beak in the process, so Raph could see the look of irritation on his sweaty face.</p><p>“Now’s not a great time…y-you…do see the welding equipment and the apron I’m wearing, right?”</p><p>
  <em>Baby, I'm hot just like an oven</em><br/>
<em>I need some lovin'</em><br/>
<em>And baby, I can't hold it much longer</em><br/>
<em>It's getting stronger and stronger</em>
</p><p>“Hehe, yeah,” Raph nuzzled Don’s neck, gently sucking on his pulse point. “But I know yah can feel how hot I am…” He murmured, pushing his thick erection against Don’s front. Raph let his hands snake down to cup Don’s buttocks, brushing the thick apron ties to the side as he reached for Don’s tail—</p><p>“I’m serious, cut it out.” Don flipped his welding guard back down, this time clipping the top of Raph’s beak. As Raph recoiled, rubbing his beak, Don stepped back to his work table.</p><p>He looked down at his apron, where Raph’s dick had deposited a wet trail of pre-cum, barely visible on the rough, thick material. Don wiped at it with his thick welding gloves, brushing himself off.</p><p>“You’re lucky that I didn’t have any metal shavings on my apron, or else your sensitive parts would’ve been experiencing a VERY different kind of heat.” Don admonished.</p><p>Raph rubbed his beak sheepishly.</p><p>“Alright, I get it. Tryin’ ta give me blue balls, eh? C’mon, I saw the little twitch in yer tail this mornin,’ I thought you were just waitin’ til Fearless left…”</p><p>“Regarding ‘Blue Balls,’ I can assure you that’s NOT the case, and as flattered as I am by that mouth of yours, unfortunately I’ll be up all night working on these repairs-”</p><p>
  <em>And when I get that feeling</em><br/>
<em>I want sexual healing</em><br/>
<em>Sexual healing, oh baby</em><br/>
<em>Makes me feel so fine</em>
</p><p>The smirk on Raph’s face was infuriating.</p><p>“I’ll just wait til ya finish with that little weldin’ project and THEN I’ll bend ya over,”</p><p>“Raph…” Don gritted his teeth.</p><p>Raph held back a snicker as he held his hands up in mock surrender; he did find his mate adorable when he was angry. But he knew when it was time to retreat…Raph shrugged, turning to leave.</p><p>
  <em>Helps to relieve my mind</em><br/>
<em>Sexual healing baby, is good for me</em><br/>
<em>Sexual healing is something that's good for me</em>
</p><p>But he couldn’t resist just a little more honeyed bedroom talk before he left Donnie-boy to his work--</p><p>“—an’ I’ll pull up that fat little tail, an’ let my fingers do the talkin’—“</p><p>Don let out an annoyed growl. He picked up the ball peen hammer sitting on the table, with less caution that he normally might—</p><p>“I’m sorry you’re the world’s horniest mutant turtle, Raphael, but I! AM! BUSY-!”</p><p>For emphasis, Don slammed his other hand down on the work table, but he didn’t realize the handle of his slag hammer had shifted to the edge of the table. His hand caught the end and it clattered to the ground…</p><p>For a brief moment, Don thought it was strange that the small tool felt so heavy as he knocked into it with his hand, and then he realized too late that the resistance he felt came from a piece of scrapped fender he’d placed on top of the tool—</p><p>“RAPH!” Don spun around.</p><p>Raph had turned away to leave Don in peace in the millisecond just before Don lost his temper—</p><p>So he didn’t see the airborne piece of metal flying towards his-</p><p>The metal clipped Raph’s head with a heavy thud before it, and Raph, crashed to the ground.</p><p>Don immediately unplugged everything, ripped his welding mask, and ran to Raph’s aid.</p><p>“Oh shell, Raph! I’m so sorry,” Don cried, checking his mate’s head for injuries. Raph had a nasty gash on his head, but nothing too deep—just split skin. Don was inwardly grateful for Raph’s thick skull.</p><p>Raph opened his eyes blearily, giving Don a reassuring grin. “Heh. Betcha wish…ye’d let me give ya the business now, eh?” Then his eyes rolled back and he passed out.</p><p>***********************************************************</p><p>(A few hours later)</p><p>
  <em>Baby, I got sick this mornin'</em><br/>
<em>A sea was stormin' inside of me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby, I think I'm capsizin'</em><br/>
<em>The waves are risin' and risin'</em>
</p><p>Hours later, Raph woke up in his bed, with Don sitting by his side. He’d long since discarded his apron and welding gloves. Raph had a dull ache in the back of his head.</p><p>“Aughh…man, what’d ya do to me Donnie? Try to murder me with a sledgehammer or somethin’?”</p><p>The devastated look on Don’s face as he put the last of the bandages in his medical kit was enough to shut Raph up.</p><p>“Raphie, I’m so sorry. Agh, I swear, I really need to be more careful about my safety practices. I completely disregarded the basic protocols for ‘Equipment placement,’ and—and I could’ve really hurt you—!”</p><p>“Breathe, Donnie,” Raph soothed.</p><p>Don looked down at him. His lower lip trembled.</p><p>“Alright, brainiac, gimme the rundown- Do I got a concussion?”</p><p>“N-no, you don’t show any signs of—“</p><p>“—Is my brain somehow oozin’ onto the floor?”</p><p>Don quirked an eyeridge at him, looking puzzled. “Well, no, if it was- you’d likely not be conscious to—“</p><p>“Ah-heh. Okay. An’ is my skull split open, or did ya cut my dick off in yer half-assed murder attempt?”</p><p>“It’s just… stitches, I-I had to give you 12 stitches—“ A tear rolled down Don’s cheek. “P-please don’t be mad, but I did have to give you a numbing injection…I know how much you hate needles—“</p><p>
  <em>Whenever blue tear drops are falling</em><br/>
<em>And my emotional stability is leaving me</em><br/>
<em>There is something I can do</em><br/>
<em>I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Honey I know you'll be there to heal me</em><br/>
<em>The love you give to me will free me</em><br/>
<em>If you don't know the thing you're dealing</em><br/>
<em>Oh I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing</em>
</p><p>“Donnie, hey, c’mon. I wasn’t awake fer that, so just call it water under the bridge. What happened ta yer no-nonsense bedside manner? Usually ya lay down the law whenever one of us is injured.” Raph rubbed Don’s back.</p><p>“I could’ve really, really injured you, Raph! Or worse…head injuries are no joke!” Don cried.</p><p>Raph winced a little as he sat up and the bandaged site on his head rubbed against the pillow.</p><p>“C’mon, Donnie, ya can’t blame yerself. Besides, yah said it yerself, I ain’t got a concussion, an’ there’s no one I’d trust more to stitch me up then you, what with them <em>talented</em> fingers a’ yers,” Raph’s voice took on a decidedly suggestive tone, quirking his eyeridge playfully at Don.</p><p>Don shot him a wry glare, tears still glistening in his eyes. “Oh. Oh, you have got to be joking. Really, Raph?”</p><p>Raph shrugged. “Hey, a little gash in the head ain’t gonna make me fergit what business I was up ta just before it…” He looked down at a bulge that grew beneath the sheets. “In fact, looks like it’s business as usual already,”</p><p>Don wiped his tears. “And just like that, my guilt is completely gone,” He deadpanned.</p><p>“Aw, c’mon, Donnie, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Down, boy. Don’t pick at your stitches or I’ll put a cone on you.” Don admonished, pointing his finger at Raph as he turned to leave the room.</p><p>“Aw, dammit…” Raph groaned, his erection wilting slightly as the door creaked shut.</p><p>
  <em>Sexual healing, baby, it's good for me</em><br/>
<em>Sexual healing is something that's good for me</em>
</p><p>Just as Raph reached down to palm himself, the door slammed open.</p><p>“Alright, sir, I’m here to administer your treatment.” Don said briskly, walking to the bed purposefully with a bottle of lube in hand.</p><p>“Whoa! Yeah, alright!” Raph grinned, instantly catching onto his mate’s intent.</p><p>
  <em>Come take control, just grab a hold</em><br/>
<em>Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it</em><br/>
<em>Honey, oh we're feeling fine</em><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Just give me a moment to…” Don turned away from him, and bent over, legs spread. He lifted his tail to reveal his pink hole, twitching and already slick with lubricant. Don looked over his shoulder, eyes half-lidded. “…make the necessary preparations.”</p><p>Raph swallowed the lump in his throat as he drank in the sight. Don wagged his tail gently from side to side, feeling Raph’s eyes on him. Raph’s half-hard erection sprang back to life. He groaned, feeling his lower body ache with the rush of blood to his thick organ.</p><p>“First we’ll need to check the fit of this apparatus. Do you think it’ll be too tight?” Don purred, his soft voice lilting with a hint of playfulness as he pressed his backside closer to Raph.</p><p>“Ohhh, fuck…Well, uh, lemme check…” Raph stammered. He reached out and pressed his thick index finger under the plump tail, rubbing his finger around the puckered rim of Don’s asshole. It clenched beneath his touch, and Raph bit his lip with a devilish grin as he pressed his fingertip slowly into Don’s hole.</p><p>“How does that feel?” Don asked, voice strained.</p><p>“Heh, shouldn’t I be askin’ you that question?” Raph chuckled.</p><p>Don pressed his hips back, taking Raph’s finger to the last knuckle.</p><p>“I’m sorry, sir, you’ll have to communicate with me clearly if I’m to successfully…ghnnn,” Don grunted as Raph crooked his finger inside him.</p><p>“… A-administer your…treatment.”</p><p>“Hn. I dunno, it feels a little tight, but really, really wet.”</p><p>Don squeezed his finger inside him, and Raph nearly passed out again.</p><p>“Is it warm enough? Sir?”</p><p>“Ughh…fuuuck. Donnie… Yeah, it’s…” Raph gulped. “It’s good an’ hot.”</p><p>Raph crooked his finger again, stroking Don’s prostate. Don cried out, but caught himself.</p><p>“V-very good, let’s begin the…treatment.” With great self-restraint, he pulled himself off of Raph’s digit. “Please take your bedclothes down for me.”</p><p>Raph flung the sheets off, and his impressive boner sprang free.</p><p>“Is cherry flavored alright? Or would you prefer grape?” Don held up the bottle he’d brought with him.</p><p>“Whatever yeh got there’s fine, Doc.” Raph grunted, trying to sit up to grab at Don’s ass again.</p><p>Don swatted his hands away, and smirked as he knelt on the bed. He firmly but gently pushed Raph back down.</p><p>“We like to ask the patient their preference in flavor. But for this procedure, we’ll both be tasting it.”</p><p>“I like the sound a’ that,” Raph murmured, looking up at Don.</p><p>With that, Don drizzled the lubricant over Raph’s already-dripping cock.</p><p>He lowered himself down over Raph, and licked up and down his large penis, making sure to emphasize his slurping, teasing tongue’s motions for Raph’s enjoyment.</p><p>“Oohhhh…f-fuck, Donnie, damn…” Raph groaned, feeling Don’s wet tongue lick and tease around the swollen head. Raph strained against the pillows, gripping the mattress as he tried to sit up to get a better view of that pink tongue…His hips jumped of their own accord, and his cock pushed into Don’s mouth.</p><p>Don pulled off of his penis with a wet pop.</p><p>He gave Raph a playfully stern look. “Sir, you need to lay as still as possible. We can’t have you straining your stitches any further.”</p><p>Raph bit his lip, moaning as his dribbling cock bobbed in the air. He barely heard Don, he was focused on trying to crane his neck so he’d have a better view beneath Don’s chest—</p><p>Don shook his head, tsking him. “Well, I guess we’ll have to use some precautionary measures to keep you in place.”</p><p>He opened the bottle of flavored lubricant again, and drizzled a generous amount onto his fingers. He reached behind him and smeared the fresh layer of lubricant under his tail and over his loosened asshole. For good measure, he wiped his hand on one of his round asscheeks, making sure Raph could see him squeeze and depress the plump olive flesh with his fingers.</p><p>Before Raph could protest, (not that he wanted to), Don climbed onto the bed again and slowly pushed his backside against Raph’s face, pressing him down into the pillow.</p><p>“Now, you’ll need to let me know if you experience any…discomfort,” Don purred, shifting his knees slightly so he could curl downward and lick Raph’s cock from his position.</p><p>“Same ta you, Doc,” Raph growled, his voice slightly muffled from beneath Don’s tail.</p><p>Don had no time to reply before Raph pressed his beak into Don’s ass, enthusiastically tonguing his hole. He moved his face back and forth, kissing and licking between the round cheeks that trapped his mouth.</p><p>“A-Ah!” Don squeaked, trying to maintain his persona. “V-very well,” He stammered, then dipped down to nuzzle and lick Raph’s dick.</p><p>Raph fucked his hole with his tongue, spearing the tip into his ass and teasing the underside of his tail. The hot breath against Don’s sensitive taint made it difficult to keep a steady rhythm as he bobbed his head up and down on Raph’s member.</p><p>“H-how is that feeling for you, sir?” Don gasped, his chin glistening with drool and lubricant and pre-cum.</p><p>To Don’s surprise, Raph squeezed Don’s hips, pulling his ass flush against his face tighter than before.</p><p>“Mmmmphhh.” He groaned, his low voice vibrating through Don’s ass as he pushed his mouth against Don.</p><p>“O-okay!” Don cried out. “Okay, I think that means…ghhh…we’re ready to complete the…”</p><p>Raph was tongue-deep in his ass, moving his beak in the most arousing way that vibrated against Don’s tail—</p><p>“Aaagh…nnn… the procedure-!” Don gave an experimental twitch, trying to signal to Raph that he should ease his vice grip holding Don’s hips in place against his mouth.</p><p>Raph chuckled, planting a wet kiss to Don’s ass before letting go and slapping him.</p><p>“Sure, Doc, lemme have it.”</p><p>
  <em>Come take control, just grab a hold</em><br/>
<em>Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it</em><br/>
<em>Honey, oh we're feeling fine</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You're my medicine open up and let me in</em><br/>
<em>Darling, you're so great</em><br/>
<em>I can't wait for you to operate</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Don took his own dick in hand as he straddled Raph’s hips.</p><p>“Now, it’s important…ughh…” He sank down on the thick cockhead, moaning as it popped inside his wet hole.</p><p>“T-that you…breathe slowly, and…ugh… don’t stress your injury…”</p><p>Raph breathed harshly through his teeth, tilting his head on the pillow slightly so that he wouldn’t put any unnecessary pressure on the stitches or bandage.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Raph grunted, reaching down to grab Don’s hips.</p><p>Don grinned at him as he pushed himself all the way down, taking Raph’s entire length into his tight channel. With one hand, he pumped his own cock. Don reached down with the other hand to gently hold one of Raph’s wrists against his body.</p><p>“H-How’s that feel?”</p><p>“Aggghhh… fuuuuck,” Raph groaned, rolling his eyes back. “Fuck, Donnie, please-!”</p><p>“Please w-whaat?” Don gritted out, trying to keep up his act.</p><p>“Fuckin’ move, Donnie, please, whatever, the treatment or the operation or whatever the fuckin’ doctor thing you’re usin’…unnngh…” Raph rolled his hips up, and Don’s eyes went wide as he felt Raph press even deeper inside him.</p><p>“Oh, whatever.” Don panted.</p><p>He pushed himself up before slamming back down on Raph’s dick, squeezing him the entire way, reveling in the slight burn around his wet, slick hole.</p><p>Don moved his hand away from Raph’s wrist to press gently on Raph’s chest as he bounced up and down, pumping away furiously at his own cock with his other.</p><p>They rapidly came undone.</p><p>Don came into his hand, the stray streaks of cum splashing over Raph’s broad chest.</p><p>Don keened, breathy and high, as his face contorted in pleasure. Don’s ass tightened like a vice around Raph’s dick as Raph snarled and thrust brutally into Don’s tight heat for the last few pumps until—</p><p>“D-Donnie-! Fuuuck…” Raph exploded, shooting his load up into that slick channel, filling Don with his hot seed.</p><p>
  <em>(Get up, Get up, Get up, Get up)</em><br/>
<em>Let's make love tonight</em><br/>
<em>(Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up)</em><br/>
<em>'Cause you do it right</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(Heal me my darling)</em>
</p><p>They lay entwined in each other’s arms, catching their breath, Raph being careful to angle the injured side of his head away from the pillow as Don nuzzled against his chin.</p><p>“Y’know… ya hittin’ me in the head with a broken fender aside an’ all, I’m… I’m sorry I was gettin’ in yer face while you were so busy.” Raph murmured against Don’s head.</p><p>Don gently untangled himself so he could look at up Raph, his dark brown eyes wide with surprise.</p><p>“Raphie, I really do need to check you again for a concussion… you almost NEVER apologize with that kind of sincerity…”</p><p>Raph huffed out a laugh.</p><p>“Hey, shuddup.” He blushed, looking away. “Yer the only one who gets to see that side a’ me, an’…ya know it.”</p><p>Don giggled, softly burrowing his beak into Raph’s chest. “Well, it’s fine. Next time you need some special treatment, though, just… wait until I’m out of the workshop, okay?”</p><p>Raph planted a soft peck to the top of Don’s head.</p><p>“It’s a deal, Doc.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sandy (John Travolta, "Grease")</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raph acts like a dumb teenage boy to show off in front of Casey and Don’s feelings get hurt. Raph has to choose between his usual tough guy posturing or his fledgling relationship with Don. Set to <a href="https://youtu.be/9nEnQOenKoA">Sandy (John Travolta, “Grease”)	lol!
</a></p><p>I'm picturing Raph and Don being in their early 20's in this drabble.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>WARNING: homophobic and sexist slurs</b></p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In this drabble, Don's intersex (has female and male genitalia, but identifies as male). Raph and his brothers know, but it'd never come up in any conversation with Casey.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/9nEnQOenKoA">Sandy (John Travolta, “Grease”)	
</a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>Stranded at the drive-in, branded a fool<br/>
What will they say Monday at school?</i>
</p><p>The plan had been simple enough. Go out for a guys’ night out with Casey (in his apartment, of course), drink a couple of beers, watch sports. Hang out. Easy. </p><p>Leo declined, and Raph forbade Mikey from going after his last stunt in Casey’s apartment (it involved nunchucks, and smashed banana smeared all over the floor and ceiling). That left…well, Don, and surprisingly, Don said yes. Raph shouldn’t have been THAT surprised, he guessed… Don did enjoy watching sports (with Raph). And Don was surprisingly fun-loving underneath the square on the surface. Don had even been among the first of the turtles to try alcohol, but for experimental purposes (Don was convinced he could study how their unique DNA affected their metabolism, and what more apparent way to test the results than to study alcohol tolerance?). </p><p>Raph wasn’t sure what made him so uncomfortable, then. He kept fidgeting while he and Don stealthily made their way to Casey’s place. </p><p>“Hey, brought your girlfriend, eh?” Casey greeted Raph. Raph froze as Casey looked over his shoulder at Don. “I’m just kiddin’, hey, Don, how’s it hangin’?” </p><p>“Ah. Fine. How’re you, Casey?” Don replied pleasantly.</p><p>“I’ll be a lot better once we get the wrestling on and get some beers in me, c’mon in.” </p><p>Don gave Raph an inquisitive look. Raph shook his head ‘no’ as they followed Casey into the apartment. Raph had not told Casey that they were in a relationship yet. Well, they’d only been “official” for a few weeks, anyway.</p><p>Things went well for a little while. They swigged their beers and ate snacks. Raph and Casey talked trash about the others’ wrestling favorites while Don would occasionally punctuate their bickering with observations about the strategy behind the moves. </p><p>“…and that’s why he’d be better off just holding the opponent down with his legs instead of breaking a chair over his head.” </p><p>Casey was a bit tipsy. </p><p>“Fftt. Looks like some pussy shit to me.” </p><p>Raph noticed Don went quiet, looking down at his beer. </p><p>Casey nudged Raph. “Hey, hey, look…yer guy’s doin’ Donnie’s ‘Pussy move,’” </p><p>Raph, out of sheer habit, snarled a retort back before he could even think. </p><p>“That’s Donnie’s Pussy move, that ain’t got nothin’ to do with me or my pick, Case. Looks like yer guy’s losin’, so that makes you the little bitch.” </p><p>Raph chortled through his teeth, nearly spraying the swig of beer he’d just taken. </p><p>“Whatever, man…I ain’t no pussy, now ya just takin’ shots at me.”</p><p>Casey shrugged, grinning cheekily.</p><p>Don placed his beer on the coffee table and got up, grabbing his bo staff as he headed for the door. </p><p>“Don, where’re ya goin’?” </p><p>“What’s wrong, what’re ya, a two-beer-queer?” Casey teased. </p><p>Don didn’t turn around.</p><p>“Dude, seriously, ya can’t hold yer liquor or what?” Casey continued.</p><p>“I guess not. I’m…I’m not feeling well.” His voice was soft. “I’ll see you back at the lair.” </p><p>“Don, wait-!”</p><p>Raph could tell by the way Don let the door slam shut that Don was not exactly happy with him.</p><p>Raph made an excuse to leave shortly after. </p><p>Don must’ve bolted after he left the apartment, because Raph couldn’t find him anywhere along their familiar route home. The night was quiet. That was a good sign, at least… </p><p>Raph huffed a sigh, and climbed up onto a fire escape before silently making his way to the rooftops. He was a little bit tipsy from the beer, but nothing enough to slow him down in his trek across the night sky. </p><p>No sign of Don. </p><p>Raph paused as he looked over the alley – the one housing the manhole cover they’d climbed through on their way to Casey’s. Nothing. </p><p>
  <b><i>Okay, Raph. Ya know you’re not an idiot, ya can figure this out. </i></b>
</p><p>He sat on the ledge of the roof, staring out over the city and the haze of light pollution that loomed above it. </p><p>Raph sighed, slumping forward with his chin resting on his hands. He looked out at the sprawling city before him, and wondered if Don had decided to take a different route home? What if he was in danger? </p><p>Raph caught himself. He shook his head. </p><p>
  <b><i>No, focus, dumbass. Don ran off for some reason, and it probably wasn’t the beer. Why’d he get so weird all of a sudden once the wrestlin’ match started?</i></b>
</p><p>Then Raph remembered what Casey had said just before Don started to get all quiet. ‘Pussy,’ Well, Raph knew it wasn’t "polite" language, but so what? They called each other names all the time…</p><p>
  <i>Sandy, can't you see I'm in misery?<br/>
We made a start, now we're apart</i>
</p><p>
  <i>There's nothing left for me<br/>
Love has flown, all alone I sit and wonder why yi-yi-yi<br/>
Oh why you left me, oh Sandy, oh Sandy</i>
</p><p>He wanted to think Don was being irrational, just too…sensitive. But something in the back of his mind told him Don being sensitive wasn’t a bad thing. It was one of the many things about Don that Raph…loved. Just as Raph felt a flush rising to his cheeks, the surge of giddiness well up in his heart when he thought about his feelings for Don, something inside him fought back.</p><p>“It ain’t my fault we don’t know how Casey’s gonna react.” Raph muttered, surprised he said it aloud to himself. He must’ve been more affected by the beer than he thought. “I’m a guy, I’m not gonna fuckin’ apologize fer nothing-“ He was trying to get himself worked up. Trying to get a hold of that familiar, protective anger and machismo. He could solve any problem by puffing himself up and getting fierce…</p><p>He heard a noise in the alley below. Startled, he jumped up and grabbed his sai, ready to strike. </p><p>“Donnie-?!” He called, frantically searching for the familiar flash of purple and olive skin, far too loudly for any self-respecting ninja turtle. His voice echoed off the rooftops. He blinked, and realized it was just a stray cat that had been prowling around the trash below. </p><p>As his heart slowed, he cracked a smile. <b><i>Lookit me. I’m gettin’ all worked up like a mother hen just like Leo…Donnie sure has a funny effect on a guy.</i></b></p><p>That vague, familiar narrative that wanted him to get angry faded away the more he thought about how worried he was about Donnie. There. He admitted it. He was worried.</p><p>Hm. Maybe that was why Don was so upset. Well, It wasn’t Raph’s fault, some guys just wouldn’t understand their relationship. Raph didn’t want Casey to think he was some kinda—</p><p>
  <i>…pussy.</i>
</p><p>He was doing it again. </p><p>“Oh. Fuck,” Raph smacked himself in the forehead with his palm, shaking his head. “Jeez, I’m a real asshole.” </p><p>Raph knew what he had to do. Find Don—His boyfriend. His mate. His partner. And make things right. </p><p>Raph made his way down to the lair, first. It wouldn’t do any good to run through New York without checking to see if Don had returned.</p><p>He saw the light from Don’s lab spilling into the hallway, and he knew he had his answer.</p><p>Inwardly, he sighed in relief again. He really had been afraid something happened to Don. </p><p>“Hey, uh,” </p><p>
  <b><i>No wonder ya bolted so fast, ya had some kinda project to work on, huh? </i></b>
</p><p>No. Too sarcastic. </p><p>
  <b><i>What the hell, Donnie? Why’d ya leave? </i></b>
</p><p>No. No. No, no! </p><p>Raph took a deep breath, standing in the doorway.</p><p>Don had slowly turned in his chair to look at him, his dark brown eyes rimmed with red. Raph chewed the inside of his lip when he noticed the damp spots on his mask. </p><p>“Listen, Donnie… I’m sorry. I shoulda said somethin’ when Casey started talkin’ like that.” </p><p>Don looked surprised for a brief moment before he scowled. </p><p>“Yeah, you think?! I could’ve let it slide that you didn’t tell him about… about us, but…Raph, you joined in-!” Don’s voice broke. “You may as well have announced to the room ‘I’m picking my macho friend over my mate.’ What do you think’s going to happen if he finds out about…” He trailed off, gesturing at his lower abdomen. </p><p>Raph saw the look of pain in Don’s face as the olive turtle squeezed his eyes shut, tears spilling out of Don’s eyes again.</p><p>It gutted him. </p><p>“I really was an idiot. I really…” Raph began. He moved closer to his mate, who shook silently as the tears wet his cheeks. </p><p>Raph gently held his arms out, fully expecting to be pushed away. Don was stronger than he let on, and Raph knew a shove could very well result in him ending up on his ass.</p><p>But instead, Don leaned into his chest, letting Raph hold him.</p><p>“…I really need ta fuckin’ grow up. If it weren’t fer lovin’ ya, Donnie, I’d… I’d probably still be just a messed up ball a’ rage. I...I still got some learnin' to do when it comes ta...bein' honest about feelin's an' all that.” Raph murmured softly. He kissed the top of Don’s head. “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to Casey. If he’s worth bein’ my—our—friend, then he’ll hafta understand.”</p><p>Don took a deep, trembling breath as he calmed against Raph’s chest. </p><p>Raph gazed down at him, his amber eyes soft and earnest as he waited for Don to reply. Patience was never Raph’s strong suit, but he could learn to be patient for Don.</p><p>Don’s dark brown eyes blinked up at him, and he caught Raph’s lips with his own.</p><p>Pulling back, Don’s face softened into a playful smile. </p><p>“Well, when you DO finally grow up, Raphie, I’ll take allll the credit for teaching you the mature ways of the world.” </p><p>Raph chuckled, low and rumbling. </p><p>“I can’t wait ta git my diploma.” </p><p>
  <i>Baby, someday, when high school is done<br/>
Somehow, someway, our two worlds will be one<br/>
In heaven forever and ever we will be<br/>
Oh, please say you'll stay, oh, Sandy!</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't hate Casey Jones for the record. I'm thinking of his characterization in the 1990 live action movie.</p><p>He gets really upset about sleeping underground. Don makes the observation, "Oh, you're a claustrophobic!" </p><p>To which Casey hastily replies, "Hey! I never even LOOKED at another guy." </p><p>The humor is a little outdated, but it never ceases to make me laugh. And it tells the audience some things about Casey's sense of what is "masculine" and "manly."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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